Recently, we’ve been asking around for people’s funniest CNA job experiences – because, I don’t know about you, but I could use a good laugh! The responses we received did not disappoint. It would be selfish of us to not share them with you.
On my first day of work in an assisted living home, I was talking over a resident’s care plan with my supervisor and I noticed a lady poking her head around the door peeking at us. I was distracted, but my supervisor just said, “Oh that’s Mrs. Smith, she’s a nice lady, don’t worry about her.” But after a few more glances around the corner, Mrs. Smith came in in a tizzy. She said “Nurse! Nurse! Please help!” So I ran over to her and asked what I could do. She continued, “Nurse, please help me, you’re new here aren’t you? Well I’m just having the hardest time with something and I just can’t get it. Please help me.” Worried, I asked her if she was hurt. She responded “Oh dear, no! I can’t remember the old actress whose favorite line was “come and see me sometime.” Relieved that she wasn’t hurt, I sighed and told her “The actress is Mae West and the line is ‘Hey big boy, come up and see me sometime.’” Mrs. Smith’s mouth dropped and she hollered “By God, that’s it! That’s Mae West! You’re right, dear! You’re so smart, you’ll do great here!” She hugged me and started down the hallway singing “come up and see me sometime.”
I went to check on one of the male patients on my floor. His name was Larry and he was quite a character. Anyway, I went in there and he was pulling on his iv tube, like a fishing reel, claiming he’d “caught a big one!” and asked me if I’d grab him a net so that he could “pull this sucker in.”
One night, I was at work on my psych floor when this timid woman called me into her room. I walked through the door and immediately was overpowered by the smell of feces. It was AWFUL. The little woman shyly told me that a few minutes ago a woman from across the hall had come into her room, opened a dresser drawer, relieved herself into it, then went back to bed. I tried so to sympathize and not bust up laughing.
One of the female residents at the facility where I work was about to turn 100, so we’d planned this big party. On the day, I noticed she seemed pretty unexcited about the festivities, so I asked her if she knew how old she was. She said no and asked how old she was. When I told her she was 100, she responded with a quick, “Well then it’s no wonder I’m so tired!”
I was working as a nurse aide in the ER a few years ago and one night a patient came in claiming he had a bug in his ear. The doctor on duty was deathly afraid of bugs, poor guy. So he tried to see in the ear with just his eyes, but he didn’t see anything. He grabbed otoscope to check it out and lo and behold – a live cockroach was nestled in the man’s ear. The poor doctor went white as a sheet, exited the room, and bent over the counter with his head in his hands. I offered to help, but he valiantly said no, he would remove it, and stood up and walked back in, tweezers in hand. He plucked the cockroach out successfully, but dropped it on the floor as soon as he saw it, and that bug crawled RIGHT UP THE DOC’S PANT LEG!
The poor man freaked out and went running around the halls shaking his legs and hitting himself incessantly. He finally shook the bug out and squashed it with his shoe. He immediately looked up at me, who had seen the whole thing and said “Do NOT say anything about this,” then walked back into the room to apologize to the patient.